I’m not very good at saying ”no” to myself. If I want something badly enough, chances are I’ll find a way to do it, get it or buy it. 

According to Father Michael Casey, O.C.S, in his powerful book, Living in the Truth: Saint Benedict’s Teaching on Humility, “Our saying ‘yes’ to Christ is conditional upon our saying ‘no’ to ourselves. If self-will is our first priority, we can never be followers of Christ.”

This insight is fundamental to Christian discipleship. Jesus’ obedience to his Father’s will is what we are called to imitate—not in a slavish or perfunctory way but because our hearts are full of love.  “Not my will but thine be done” is the prayer of Jesus during his agony in the garden. It is a decisive moment in the passion narrative because in this act of saying “no” to himself and “yes” to the Father’s will, Jesus sets in motion all of the events that surround his death and lead to his resurrection. 

In my new book, The Benedictine Way, I address this aspect of Christian discipleship from my own experience:

It’s clear to me that my formation as a man and as a Christian began in earnest when I stopped trying to do things my way. My will was not a reliable guide in any aspect of my life. Only when I opened my mind and heart to God’s will as it was revealed to me through the teaching and example of faculty, spiritual directors and administrators at Saint Meinrad did I find my way.

Over the years, this truth has been reaffirmed many times. My way is a dead end.  The Benedictine Way, which includes the full teaching and practice of the Catholic Church, is the way to life. But I must listen attentively to others—especially “veteran members” of the Church community or I too easily slip back into my former ways of doing things.

 I need to keep at it—saying “no” to myself in big things and little things.  One day at a time.