We can’t really experience another person’s pain and suffering. But as Pope Francis says, we can “remember” everyone’s suffering in prayer.

My father’s last days were full of suffering. Morphine helped, but it did not totally eliminate the intense pain he experienced. We, his family and his excellent caregiver Pam, stood by him to comfort and reassure him. But that’s all we could do. He had to suffer and to die on his own. Our job was to suffer with him (which is what “compassion” means) and to remember him in prayer. 

Remembering Helen and Jack Conway 

Because we’re Christians, we believe that his suffering is now over.  (His 17 years of purgatory from the time of our mother’s death until his own surely earned him immediate entrance into Heaven.) And that is an immense relief!

Still, we remember Dad’s suffering—not in a maudlin way, but as a vivid reminder of how much he loved us. And even though we don’t think he needs it, we continue to ask our loving God to bless him and unite him with our mother. 

I think this is what Pope Francis means when he says:

Remember the sufferings of every person in your heart. Then bring them all to God in your prayers.

I try to remember to pray daily for Mom and Dad and all our family members and friends who have died. Remembering them is important—more for me than for them. 

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord. May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed Rest In Peace.

How do you define joy?

I write a regular column for The Criterion (weekly newspaper of the Archdiocese of Indianapolis) called “The Face of Mercy” that contains my reflections on the teaching of Pope Francis.

Here is a selection from this month’s column. To read the complete article, click on the link below  

Pope Francis sees joy as the opposite of self-centeredness. He says, quoting Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, later Pope Benedict XVI, that the temptations which affect Christians frequently include individualism, a crisis of identity and a cooling of fervor, with the greatest threat of all being “the gray pragmatism of the daily life of the Church, in which all appears to proceed normally, which in reality faith is wearing down.”

The Holy Father warns against “defeatism,” urging Christians to be signs of hope, bringing about a “revolution of tenderness.” He tells us that it is necessary to seek refuge from the “spirituality of well-being … detached from responsibility for our brothers and sisters,” and to vanquish the “spiritual worldliness that consists of seeking not the Lord’s glory but human glory and well-being.”

Joy is not the result of satisfying our human needs or desires. It comes from carrying out God’s will through self-surrender and loving service of our brothers and sisters, especially those who are most in need of our help.

Gospel joy is found in “spirit-filled evangelizers, those who are fearlessly open to the working of the Holy Spirit and who have the courage to proclaim the newness of the Gospel with boldness (parrhesía) in every time and place, even when it meets with opposition.” Joy is experienced by “evangelizers who pray and work in the knowledge that their mission is at once a passion for Jesus and a passion for his people.”

http://www.archindy.org/criterion/local/2017/10-27/mercy.html

Are you on fire. Are you ready to burn?

Pope Benedict XVI wrote: “Jesus sets fire to the earth. Whoever comes close to Jesus, accordingly, must be prepared to be burned.”

Confessions of a clumsy blogger: I accidentally deleted this post—after sharing it on Facebook and Twitter. Of course, I don’t have a copy of the original. 

In essence, I asked the question (of myself mainly), Are you on fire? Are you ready to burn? And my answer unfortunately is “not quite.”

In spite of taking my faith seriously and doing my part as a practicing Catholic, I have to admit that I am more “lukewarm” than “on fire” or “ready to burn.”

If you read my most recent article on the teaching of Pope Francis in this week’s issue of The Criterion, you’ll see that Pope Francis has a hard time with people like me. 

As my pastor, Father Mark Spalding, frequently reminds us: From those to whom much has been given, even more will be required. 

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Give me knowledge of your will and the power to carry it out. Today and every day. Amen. 

Analysis of a new report on religious giving quotes work I did several years ago published as “The Reluctant Steward.” 

At least three studies conducted over the past 25 years have all reached the same conclusion: 1) clergy have a negative attitude towards money and 2) clergy are “reluctant” to discuss financial matters.

In fact, Daniel Conway has written that of the dozens of clergy interviews he has done, religious leaders “felt that . . money is incompatible with pastoral ministry and antithetical to . . . spirituality.” Yet, the findings released by Lake Institute and the Giving USA Foundation indicate that persons of faith are significantly more generous than the general population and are willing to give.

I think you’ll find this article very interesting. 

https://philanthropy.iupui.edu/news-events/insights-newsletter/2017-issues/october-2017-issue2.html

It seems that reports of Pope Benedict’s failing health have been exaggerated. I pray for him daily and wish him continued good health!

From the dedication to my new book, The Benedictine Way:

I first read Joseph Ratzinger’s Introduction to Christianity when I was studying theology at Saint Meinrad in the 1970s, and it literally changed my life. As a result, I have been reading Joseph Ratzinger eagerly and with profound appreciation ever since. Although not a monk, this brilliant, humble man who now calls himself “Father Benedict” is truly a Benedictine, a man who seeks God in and through the community that is the Church. Ad multos annos! 

 Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI congratulates Cardinal Joseph W. Tobin on his elevation to the College of Cardinals November 2016

A win for religious liberty. Federal government settles lawsuits over HHS mandate. 

October 23, 2017

On October 13th, the departments of Health and Human Services, Labor, and the Treasury of the United States Government, entered into an historic settlement agreement with 74 religious organizations, including the Archdiocese of St. Louis and Catholic Charities of St. Louis.

In a series of lawsuits, the religious organizations challenged Department of Health and Human Services regulations that would have required these entities to provide employee health plans that included contraceptives, abortifacients, and sterilization procedures, in violation of their religious beliefs.  The historic settlement in effect grants a permanent injunction prohibiting these regulations or any similar future regulations from being enforced against the Archdiocese of St. Louis, Catholic Charities, and the other religious organizations.

The U.S. Government agreed that the proposed regulations imposed a substantial burden on the free exercise of religion as guaranteed in the Constitution and violated the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. The regulations, if enforced, would have given the federal government unprecedented power to determine which institutions were “religious” or not by imposing a flawed religious test. These regulations subjected Catholic institutions to crippling fines, property seizures, and other regulatory burdens and penalties, which because of this settlement are no longer possible, now or in the future.  This historic settlement brings to an end many years of litigation, tension, and uncertainty for Catholic institutions.

After long negotiations, offers of flawed accommodations, and many, many prayers, we have finally prevailed in this unwelcomed fight for religious liberty – a fight which was not of our making. We must remain vigilant in our defense of this first, most cherished freedom in the years to come. I am most grateful to the Jones Day law firm for their tireless efforts on our behalf in this litigation and settlement. To the countless men and women who have offered prayers, public witness, and material support, I also offer my heartfelt gratitude.

Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception, Patroness of the Americas, pray for us!

Most Reverend Robert J. Carlson Archbishop of St. Louis

We are slaves to whatever material, emotional or spiritual “things” possess us and do not let us be free. Lord, free me from all my chains!


I’m intrigued by the Tiny House Movement. It’s amazing to watch people design living spaces that are so compact and clutter free. That’s not what I’m used to. After nearly 50 years of adult living, I have way too much stuff. Even after several attempts at “downsizing,” I still have a ton of stuff I don’t really need. 

I recently opened up a large bin of CDs saying to myself that I would sort through them and pick out those few that I really wanted to keep. After just a few minutes, I closed the lid. I can’t do this, I said. I want to keep them all!

Do you remember the old campfire song, “O you can’t get to heaven”? Here are some of the lyrics. (The entire song goes on forever, of course. It’s a campfire song!)


Oh, you can’t get to Heaven on roller skates
‘Cause you’d roll right past those pearly gates 

Oh, you can’t get to Heaven in an old Ford car
‘Cause an old Ford car won’t go that far

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a ping pong ball
'Cause a ping pong ball is much too small

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a limousine
'Cause the Lord ain't got no gasoline

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a Sabre Jet
'Cause the Lord ain't got no runways yet

Oh, you can't get to Heaven in a rocking chair
'Cause the Lord don't want no lazybones there

If you get there before I do
Just dig a hole and pull me through.


I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.

The point is “you can’t take it with you.” Sooner or later, everything has to go. 

Today is the feast of Pope St. John Paul II. He was a gifted man who touched the lives of millions. Pray for us, St. John Paul. Show us the way to life.

I had the great privilege of meeting Pope John Paul II nearly 20 years ago, in February 1998. He was old and infirm then, but he had incredible stamina. I was one of more than a hundred people—guests of newly minted Cardinals from different regions of the world—who the Pope personally greeted that day. I was introduced to the Holy Father by Cardinal Francis George, Archbishop of Chicago and my new boss. The pope shook my hand and asked if I was married. When I said “yes,” he handed me a blessed Rosary and told me it was for my wife, Sharon. 

Sharon and I were engaged to be married the year Karol Wojtya was elected pope. We were as surprised as everyone else when we learned that the new pope was from Poland. What energy and passion he had in those early days! He was an athlete, a poet, a philosopher and a shrewd diplomat. Above all, he was a holy man with a deep devotion to Jesus and his Blessed Mother. 

St. John Paul’s Letter to the Elderly has special significance, I think, because the whole world watched as this vigorous young pope aged and became feeble in body but not in mind. When he tells us that "Elderly people help us to see human affairs with greater wisdom," we know that he personally experienced aging "with knowledge and maturity." For all his suffering, he never gave up. And he never ceased to be a "privileged interpreter" of the principles and values that "guide and support life in society."

I also had the privilege of attending the funeral Mass of Pope John Paul II 12 years ago, in April 2005, in the piazza outside St. Peter's Basilica. Millions of people were there--from the piazza all the way to the Tiber River. We came to pay our respects and, above all, to say "thank you" to this great saint.