We can’t really experience another person’s pain and suffering. But as Pope Francis says, we can “remember” everyone’s suffering in prayer.

My father’s last days were full of suffering. Morphine helped, but it did not totally eliminate the intense pain he experienced. We, his family and his excellent caregiver Pam, stood by him to comfort and reassure him. But that’s all we could do. He had to suffer and to die on his own. Our job was to suffer with him (which is what “compassion” means) and to remember him in prayer. 

Remembering Helen and Jack Conway 

Because we’re Christians, we believe that his suffering is now over.  (His 17 years of purgatory from the time of our mother’s death until his own surely earned him immediate entrance into Heaven.) And that is an immense relief!

Still, we remember Dad’s suffering—not in a maudlin way, but as a vivid reminder of how much he loved us. And even though we don’t think he needs it, we continue to ask our loving God to bless him and unite him with our mother. 

I think this is what Pope Francis means when he says:

Remember the sufferings of every person in your heart. Then bring them all to God in your prayers.

I try to remember to pray daily for Mom and Dad and all our family members and friends who have died. Remembering them is important—more for me than for them. 

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord. May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed Rest In Peace.