Following the stroke which forced him to retire early and return to Saint Meinrad Archabbey, Indianapolis Archbishop Emeritus Daniel M. Buechlein, OSB, had to learn to be dependent on the care of others. In fact, the Benedictine monks of Saint Meinrad and their co-workers in the monastery infirmary cared for Archbishop Daniel for seven years until his death yesterday.
Here is an excerpt from Archbishop Daniel’s memoirs, Surprised by Grace: Memories and Reflections on Twenty-Five Years of Episcopal Ministry, Chapter One, “Aloneness.”
I am working harder than ever to be a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ, to surrender to the will of the Father, to regain my physical strength, to channel my emotions, and to use my mind to pray, to learn and to teach. In short, I continue to seek God in the dramatically changed circumstances of my life and ministry.
It’s not a cakewalk. Some days it’s extraordinarily difficult and painful. I fall periodically. When I stand up, my blood pressure plummets, and I lose my balance. The last time this happened, I sustained a concussion. Thank God I have wonderful caregivers who prevent me from falling, or who catch me as I’m about to hit the ground, or who pick me up after I’ve fallen and check to make sure I don’t have another concussion or a broken bone. It’s hard to be so dependent on other people, but what a blessing it is to have them so close at hand when I need them!
Since the stroke, I have had to face the fact that I will never be able to live on my own again. My emotions, and my pride, strongly reject this humiliating truth about myself. I know that I have to fight against the temptation to see myself as “damaged goods for life.” In fact, that’s not the case at all. My mind is clear. My body is healing. And I’m learning to deal with my emotions.
I’m not damaged goods. I’m a monk, a priest and a bishop who seeks God alone. I am relentlessly seeking the One who seeks me in the new circumstances of my life.
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