Father Mark Spalding, pastor of Holy Trinity Church in Louisville, is an outstanding preacher. In his homily last night, he told us three things (my paraphrasing, not his exact words):

1. Take death seriously.

2. Choose your friends carefully.

3. Know that “no” is often the most loving thing you can say.

I have been thinking about these three things (itself the mark of a good homily), and I can offer the following brief reflections:

1. I am not ready to die. Is anyone really? But I am eager to be with my deceased parents, grandparents, family and friends. I miss them and pray for them every day. I refuse to believe that they have vanished and are no more. They taught me to believe that love is stronger than death and that hope springs eternal. If that not’s not taking death seriously, I don’t know what is.

2. I don’t take any credit for choosing them, but I have been blessed with amazing friends my whole life. My oldest friend, DJ Champion, is no longer with us, but our friendship endures. I still have friends from elementary and high school days, from college, from my professional life and from the places I’ve lived. They are a joy, a precious gift to be treasured and a real comfort especially during hard times. I thank God for my friends. Always.

3.  I don’t say “no” very well— especially to the people I love. I guess that’s a problem for them and for me. If the best love is “tough love,” I’m not doing very well. You might say that I am a pushover, an old softy. I give in almost immediately and, so, have a hard time saying “no.” Something to work on in my old age!

Thank you, Father Mark. As always, you’ve given me much to think about—and much to be grateful for.