What makes a family holy? Progress, not perfection.
Jack and Helen Conway and family December 1978
Many years ago, I was conducting a workshop for priests, and I asked them the question, “What makes a family holy?” There was stunned silence. I don’t think any of them—good priests all—had ever thought about family life in terms of holiness.
It’s understandable. For most of us, our image of the family is colored by our personal experience. We say that we come from good families or happy families or broken families or even dysfunctional families, but rarely does someone describe his or her family as “holy.” An individual family member might be considered holy, but ordinarily not the family as a whole. Why?
Well, first of all, most of us are very confused about what it means to be holy. And with good reason. The dictionary defines “holy” as exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness. Really? Perfect in goodness and righteousness? We Catholics believe that only Mary, the mother of Jesus, fits this description and that was by a special dispensation of God’s grace (the Immaculate Conception).
Saints are holy, but they’re not perfect. They are almost always sinners who overcame great obstacles in their personal lives and in the world they live in.
Properly understood, holiness means being true to God’s plan for us, growing in goodness and love. In a phrase made popular by Alcoholics Anonymous, it means “progress rather than perfection.” Holy people are sinners who are overcoming past difficulties resulting from selfishness and sin. They haven’t reached perfection, but they’re on their way.
Saints are holy, but they’re not perfect. They are almost always sinners who overcame great obstacles in their personal lives and in the world they live in.
Properly understood, holiness means being true to God’s plan for us, growing in goodness and love. In a phrase made popular by Alcoholics Anonymous, it means “progress rather than perfection.” Holy people are sinners who are overcoming past difficulties resulting from selfishness and sin. They haven’t reached perfection, but they’re on their way.
If we can call individuals holy even if they aren’t perfect, why not families? Every family has its troubles—sometimes serious troubles. But it’s possible for conversion and healing to take place in families as well as individuals.
My own family (pictured here in December 1978) experienced the amazing grace of God’s healing power after many years of brokenness and hurt. And at that particular moment in our family’s life, we were a family that was on the mend, growing in wisdom, grace and age.
We were never perfect, but I dare say that, by the grace of God, we were becoming a holy family.
My own family (pictured here in December 1978) experienced the amazing grace of God’s healing power after many years of brokenness and hurt. And at that particular moment in our family’s life, we were a family that was on the mend, growing in wisdom, grace and age.
We were never perfect, but I dare say that, by the grace of God, we were becoming a holy family.
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